Clinging onto friends

 

There's a joke that goes something like "why was the mortgage so clingy? Because it hated being a loan" - not very funny I agree but it kind of hits the nail on the head in regards to the point of this blog post. 

I've dedicated many of my blog posts on here to my friends so it goes without saying that friendship is highly important to me. It always has been ultra important but as I've got older it has become even more important and meaningful to me. As I mentioned a second ago - I have written many a blog about my love of my friends, (referring to them as my soul mates, which I still truly believe in), and my anxieties, (see last blog or indeed a lot of the others on here), so I don't want to just repeat what I've said before. I've got to thinking, (or should I say overthinking), this evening about how intense or clingy I may appear to those who I class as close friends. 

I am blessed with having quite a few friends whose friendship I dearly cherish, but there are those who I class as close friends who are elevated to the level of family for me; there are those who I chat to everytime I see them, the ones I text or message regularly even if it's just to check how they are or hear about their day. The ones who I actively ask to hang out with and go for walks or coffees with, the ones whose company I thoroughly enjoy because we just "get" each other and I feel comfortable around them enough to tell them how I'm feeling, my worries, issues or things from my past that others don't know about, etc. (If any of these things apply to you then you can safely assume I hold you in the highest regard as a true friend, I've got your back for life). These friendships mean everything to me and, (much like the mortgage in that joke above), I hate being alone but especially if it means not having these friends in my life. 

Why am I mentioning this you may ask, well the answer is very simple - I worry that sometimes I come across too clingy! I'm really not , I just adore my friends and hanging out with or hearing from them is genuinely a highlight of my day. You remember the friendships you all had as children? Well, just because we all grow up there is no reason not to feel that same pang of happiness when we see a good friend. 

There are a multitude of reasons why I don't really get on with my family, (if I've told you my origin story then you are definitely a close friend and will know what I mean by that!), and it's been friends who have been there for me always - you know who you are and I love and appreciate you all! 

So I guess what I'm trying to say is if any of you ever think I'm being annoyingly clingy or full on, I say the wrong thing or get flustered - it's coming from a really good place, I just care about you. 

A good friend of mine recently said to me on a walk that she believes I may be an "empath" like herself, I must confess I had heard the word before but hadn't looked into it properly so once home I read up on it and yes, I recognised a lot of the traits as my own so maybe she is on to something. The one thing I recognised the most is that empaths tend to be intense with any relationship, I'm not talking about intense in a bad, creepy, stalkery way but in a caring, supportive way. I prefer thinking I'm not clingy, I just genuinely care about you. 

Here's an empath definition of what I'm talking about to mull over...

One other point to defend my seemingly clingy ways is that I have an innate ability to tell if someone is going to be a true friend or not within half an hour of meeting them. So if anyone feels our friendship developed really quickly - that's why, I can detect when somebody is a kind soul so I gravitate towards them and then sometimes we just click together and I know I've made a friend for life so why waste any time before hanging out and making memories with them. True story.