Sorry for being sorry...

 

I apologise far too much. There, I admit it. I think it is part of my anxiety/ low self-esteem set-up. I apologise for many things; for being too early to things, for texting too often, for texting too little, for not answering my phone, for ringing people, for getting in the way, for not helping, for helping, for being the way I am, for being too clingy, for being too distant...etc, you get the idea. I am a ridiculously apologetic person. 

This may be a problem and indeed those close to me have said it's unnecessary as most of the time a sorry isn't required or even apt at that moment in time. The issue is do I want to be someone who doesn't apologise? No, not really. So how can I find a balance here? I can list things that I would apologise for and decide which require apologies maybe? Let's try just that...

Being early to an event/meet up - apology needed, could be deemed pushy or over eager. 

For texting too often/too little - apology probably needed as it may come across as clingy or rude accordingly. 

For not answering my phone - apology not needed, I was busy doing other stuff and rarely talk on the phone. 

For ringing friends - depending on time of call, apology possibly needed. 

For getting in the way - apology definitely required, I'm a big lump so take up too much space in certain areas. 

For inadvertently breaking someone's property - apology required and possibly a replacement purchased obviously! 

For lowering the tone - depending on the situation, apology needed. 

For not helping - apology needed, I like to help and we should all help each other. 

For helping - apology possibly not needed here, unless my help is not needed in which case it may be required! 

For being too clingy - apology most likely needed, my personality and anxiety make me this way. I never intend to be clingy with friends but also like to make sure they are ok BUT it may be ott to some. 

For being distant - apology possibly needed depending on the person. 

For stepping on someone's foot - apology 100% required. 

For bursting into song at any opportunity - apology sometines needed, if I wake someone up for example. 

For apologising too much - this is a problem as if I apologise for apologising at which stage do I stop saying sorry! Given this fact, I shall deem an apology not required  

For being the way I am, (feeling down/paranoid/anxiety ridden) - apology not needed I guess. If you know me, you know what I'm like. I'm a shambles of a man and chaos reigns supreme in my head. I need to stop apologising for this...within reason. 

Hmm, this has left me in a state of confusion over whether I apologise too much of too little and for that I can only apologise...