My rambling blog posts!

  There's a joke that goes something like "why was the mortgage so clingy? Because i t hated being a loan" - not very funny I agree but it kind of hits the nail on the head in regards to the point of this blog post.  I've dedicated many of my blog posts on here to my friends so it goes without saying that friendship is highly important to me. It always has been ultra important but as I've got older it has become even more important and meaningful to me. As I mentioned a second ago - I have written many a blog about my love of my friends, (referring to them as my soul mates, which I still truly believe in), and my anxieties, (see last blog or indeed a lot of the others on here), so I don't want to just repeat what I've said before. I've got to thinking, (or should I say overthinking), this evening about how intense or clingy I may appear to those who I class as close friends.  I am blessed with having quite a few friends whose friendship I dearly cheris...

  The above screenshot is taken from a video of myself singing during national pianists day last year. It's a rather uninteresting photo, in fact you can barely make out what it is, so what's the significance you may ask; on the night this was taken I was suffering with anxiety, (you can tell by the fact my hood was up on my hoodie, I tend to do that when I'm feeling anxious, worried or sad, no idea why, it's just my go to). It wasn't the first time I'd experienced anxiety and indeed I still get many  days where it pops up and I can honestly say I hate it with a passion.  I have had to shift the way I look at it though, to not only accept this is the way my mind works but to almost embrace it! I realise my feelings of anxiety, paranoia and my worries are all part of what makes me the way I am so why fight against it!?  I don't like to self-analyse as I feel pretentious and a bit conceited when I even consider doing so, but the fact remains that I live inside...